Had a midnight bike ride to clear my head and find some inspiration. It was a warm day into night. Maybe the last we'll see of the 70's for the season, yet a seasonable breeze was still present despite the temperature.
Things are dying. 'Tis the season. It's been a wonderful fall for those interested in the changing leaves, and who isn't? But as Nicole pointed out the other night, that's death. I pleaded briefly that it was change. That's what death is and so, we're both right.
As I was riding around I couldn't help but feel frightened. I was aware of it and tried to counter it but the leaves going dry on the trees hiss at you much differently now then when they healthily lulled you to sleep midsummer.
But that's not it. We're inundated this time of year with entertainment personifying that sense of fright. Mostly in movies that we're tired of seeing and that don't even thrill us anymore. But why the sense that something was going to "get me" as I was riding? It could very well be that I've seen and heard so much fiction on this throughout my life - from Whinnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day (look it up) to Michael Myers and his mask - that my mind was triggered into thinking the worst upon every moving shadow. I prefer, in stead, to think about the direct effect that my environment has on me, outside of meaning, inside of feeling. And let this be the nature of this blog from here on out. The wonder of rediscovering for myself, 'things' that have been squeezed of every last drop and analyzed and told to back to me. Usually on a screen.
In this case, autumn, fall, and at this time, Halloween. Comin' up. I think of the Mexican Dia de los Muertos. I remember learning that they celebrated those that had died. Our holidays don't mean shit anymore because we don't let our environments tell us important things. Only what kind of clothes to wear. So back to riding a bike at night, and it's not chilly but it's supposed to be. And the wind is still blustery and I'm afraid. Why? Death is all around. Isn't it that simple?
We try to picture it with our art, costumes, and movies. Or rather we let someone else tells us stories on a screen about a headless horseman in where there's no light. Or Jason. Or the scariest thing we can think of. We discredit the power of the death and retreat of the natural world to tell us directly that it's about to get cold and barren and you are in danger...
